We humans compromise to please the ones we love. In the case of our parents, it is right that we do so. However, we often find that we have to accommodate others, which then begs the question - how far should we go? We do this in various situations, but perhaps do not take time to think whether our actions are really in our best interests.
In the workplace, bosses request us to do things, with which we often feel uncomfortable. After our superiors inform us that we would be "taking one for the team" if we did so, we end up doing what is required of us nonetheless. We act this way, because we are programmed to think that the team is what is most important at work and not the individuals in it.
In our marriages, we do things to please our husbands and wives, which we might not normally do. We do this because society expects us to do so. After all, how good will a marriage be, if the parties to it do not compromise once in a while?
In our friendships, our friends sometimes ask us to do things for them, with which we do not agree. We comply with their requests out of fear that we will lose them as friends.
All the while, we are pressured to do things we would not do, if we were only thinking about ourselves. But, we tell ourselves that we have to do so, if we want to survive. We sometimes take actions, which go against our principles. We occasionally do things, inconsistent with our religious beliefs. We even act from time to time without common sense. Do we really do these things just because we feel worse off, if we do not take these actions; or is there perhaps another reason?
In this regard, it could be argued that we sometimes act out of character in the way we do, out of a need to be liked. It would be natural to think that we have to be liked in order to succeed. The suggestion would be that the more friends we have, the more likely we are to thrive. That would be correct. However, there is an equally compelling argument that this success is not worth it, if we have to sacrifice our principles to achieve it. Further, there will be those, who advance the notion that if a person is truly gifted, they will be successful regardless.
Everyone has their own values and standards. They may not reflect our own, but they should still be respected. There is however merit in Martin Luther King Jr.'s hope for a world, where every individual would only be judged on the content of their character.
In the final analysis, it is for the individual to decide whether it is more important to be liked or respected. Is it possible to be both?
Romer Cherubim
